I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i love accidental penises.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
