I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
