I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
