I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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