i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
