JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We have started to decorate penises.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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