I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
