i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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