I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize