I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
