she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
