All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize