Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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