Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
