AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
