I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
