He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
