and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
