and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
