How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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