Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize