Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
