Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize