the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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