I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
