I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize