just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
