got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
