He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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