so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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