I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
this just has baby written all over it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
