I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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