Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
There's even glitter on my cock...
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