the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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