Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
