just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
