So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
