Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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