would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
