Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
