She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
