tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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