Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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