I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
