i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
