yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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