i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
