hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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