The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize