you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
