I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
