he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
