I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
