this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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