i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
