He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish my penis had an off switch
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
