i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
