at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
