I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
only you would photoshop your dick
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
