I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
