I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
